Remembering my Brother Ten Years after his Passing

 

Ten years ago, I woke up and checked my phone for messages. There was a voicemail that was left several hours prior to my waking from my sister-in-law. It was brief and to the point. She informed me that my brother, Ed, had died in his sleep. Ed was preparing to undergo surgery on his knees but passed away at home throughout the night.

Ten years pass quickly or slowly depending upon one’s circumstances. Since October 1, 2015, we have added two more grandchildren to our family. Cindy and I have moved three times. I have had numerous employers and pastored several congregations before I retired this past July. We have also lost relatives and friends, and undergone surgeries and procedures.

Personally, remembering those who have died is important. Removed from this sad event by ten years, the shock is gone, but sadness remains. Yet, this is overshadowed by thanksgiving that Ed and I spent six decades enjoying each other’s company, and by joy believing that God numbered his days as He did in order to call him to Himself.

Ed was a delightful person and had a lot of good friends. He was a faithful Christian and a diligent worker. Intelligent and insightful, he had the ability to simplify complex matters and also to complicate simple ones, as I stated in my eulogy at St. Frances Cabrini Catholic Church, where his Mass of Christian Burial was held.

Read on because it is important to remember not only Ed, but also your own deceased family members and friends.

 

Obituary for James Edward Cwynar

James Edward "Jim" "Ed" Cwynar, 56, of Potter Twp., went home to be with the Lord when he passed away unexpectedly on Thursday, October 1, 2015. He was born October 19, 1958, in Sewickley, PA and was the son of the late John Walter and Genevieve (Bednarski) Cwynar. In addition to his parents, he was also preceded in death by an infant brother.

Ed was a member of Saint Frances Cabrini Roman Catholic Church, Center Twp. He was a 1976 graduate of the former Center High School. In 1980 Ed continued his education at Penn State University and received Master's degrees from Virginia Tech and Drexel Universities.

He was involved with the Holy Name Society, Polish National Alliance, Men's Fellowship and Trap Shooting at Christian House Baptist Chapel, the American Legion and the American Chemical Society. Ed enjoyed making wine, watching polo, and gardening vegetables and flowers with his wife. Ed also found much enjoyment in listening to Polka music. Ed was employed as a chemist from Calgon Carbon, Neville Island and was previously employed by U.S. Steel Corp. as a lab manager.

He is survived by his loving wife, Ilonha (Tolliver) Cwynar; three stepchildren, Qianna and Lorenzo Carr, Twyla Frazier, and Tony Anthony Gates, and his step-grandchildren, Styles Frazier, Mikala Wilson and Lundyn Rae Carr. Ed is also survived by two brothers and sisters-in-law, John and Mary Cwynar and Paul and Cindy Cwynar; his father-in-law, Arthur (Peggy) Williams; a niece, Simone Cwynar, several cousins, friends and his beloved cat, Merlot.

 

Eulogy for James Edward Cwynar

God’s grace, peace and mercy be with you. … On behalf of Ilonha, John and our immediate and extended families, I thank you for gathering with us this morning for this Mass of Christian Burial for my brother, Ed.

I have heard 500 eulogies throughout my life and do not remember one. You may not have heard 500 but may remember as many as I have. I hope to send you from here with one you can finally remember.

Ed was my younger brother by 19 months. When you have known a person your entire life and spent nearly every day of the first twenty years of your life with him, you cannot eulogize him in a few short words. Yet, if I eulogize Ed with too many words, I risk turning an extraordinary life into one sounding mundane. So, allow me to share one brief moment in our lives.

Not long after our mother died, Ed and I embarked on a total house makeover. In 2007, we attended a home show at the Pittsburgh Convention Center. Afterwards, we decided to try the food and beer at The Church Brew Works. As we enjoyed our meal and discussed possibilities of our house makeover, I asked Ed about the beer chart on the wall. He explained the chart as only a chemist could.

A minute later Ed asked, “Do you know what the second most complex liquid on the planet is?” … Yeah, like I knew! … “No,” I replied. Ed answered, “Wine.”

Right now, you are probably thinking what I asked. “What is the most complex liquid on the planet?” Without hesitation, Ed said, “Blood.”

A marvelous theological insight! Jesus chose wine, the second most complex liquid on the planet, to symbolize his blood, and bread, one of the simplest foods, to symbolize his body.

As I reflect on that conversation from 2007, I realize Ed shared with me a marvelous theological insight and a snapshot of himself. Sometimes Ed complicated the simple, but he usually simplified the complex. Ed simplified the complex.

Our Christian faith is not as complex as earning a Master’s degree in Chemistry, but as simple as a child opening his welcoming arms to a loving father. Ed mastered the complexity of chemistry and the simplicity of Christianity.

In closing, I lay before you this Curly Washburn challenge: Master one thing in life. You may be an expert at math, music, medicine or motherhood, law, logistics or languages, theology, chemistry or farming, but you must master one thing in life: the simplicity of Christianity.

Master the simplicity of Christianity by receiving God’s Grace, His Word and His Sacraments. Open yourself to God’s love poured into your heart through the Holy Spirit (Rom 5:5), and you will love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself. (Mt 22:37-39)

God gave Ed His Grace, His Word and His Sacraments – all that he needed not only for an extraordinary life lived, but also for an eternal life entered. Ed figured out how to live a Christian life long before he knew how to read periodic tables and beer charts. Ed mastered the simplicity of Christianity; he simplified the complex because he trusted God’s promise of eternal life through Christ crucified and he accepted that promise like a little child. Do that, and you, my brothers and sisters, will master the simplicity of Christianity.

As you do, may God send his angels to protect you. In Jesus’ Holy Name, we pray. Amen. … May the peace of God that surpasses all understanding keep your heart and mind in Christ Jesus. Amen.